Excitement and Stability

When I use the word "relationship" in a conversation, I generally mean the interactions that two or more people experience in their every day lives. This could be friendship, work relationships, romantic relationships, or any other number of interactions. While in truth, the topic of this blog doesn't simply fall into just the realm of romantic relationships, this is the part that will be mostly explored. This isn't to say that normal friendships don't have exciting times and boring times, but unless otherwise specified in this blog, the word "relationship" will refer to romantic relationships.

For the most part, lasting relationships can fall into two categories: exciting or stable. When people are inside a relationship there are always ups and downs, as described in the ever so popular analogy: a roller coaster of emotions. But how high and how low is necessary? Some people have different levels of tolerability in regards to how stable or exciting a relationship is; this isn't to say that the differences in these relationship styles are bad. Think of any healthy relationship like a frequency graph. Over time, the peaks and troughs on the graph of an exciting relationships can be higher and lower than in a stable relationship, but the average remains the same in both situations.

Some people need exciting relationships. They need to convince themselves that they still feel emotions, that the relationship that they have with this other person is real. They need someone who will convince them to do new things. Someone to argue with them; someone to leave them alone when things are going fine, and someone to completely rely on when they are feeling down. These are the people that you see yelling at each other in the line at the grocery store one minute, arguing over the dumbest thing, then the next minute holding hands walking off like nothing happened.

Then, there are the more stable relationships. The relationships whose graphs aren't peaks and valleys, but lulling hills. These are the people whose arguments aren't hot-headed fist fights, but perhaps have slightly raised voices and are easily reconciled. The people who hold their tongues until their anger has cooled down, and work out everything in a civilized manner. These people are content with what they have and what they have experienced, and don't need to endure massive swings of emotions to know that what they feel is real.

Not every single relationship is a healthy one, but in regards to healthy relationships, both the exciting and stable relationships have the same outcomes. Whether there are higher highs and lower lows, or a near flat line, it all averages out to be the same; two people who put aside whatever differences they have to live a life with each other.