Extended Family

I like my family. Ok, perhaps not my immediate family--they are boring--but I do like my extended family. All my cousins, and uncles and aunts. I like having big family get togethers because we all get to see each other and catch up on life. I get to give my cousins wedgies, and they stick their fingers in my ears; my aunt rudely awakens me from naps in funny ways and my uncle moons me--we all have a blast.

I don't really remember ever being excited about seeing all of them until recently. I mean, I didn't hate family get togethers, but they were just another manditory part of life where I had to dress up in uncomfortable clothes and behave myself for a few hours while all the grown-ups had a glass of wine and a long boring conversation. As I have gotten older, however, I have come to look forward to seeing my family.

Even around very close friends, there is somewhat of a barrier that cannot be crossed in regards to acceptable social behaviors. There isn't as much of that barrier with family. Friends don't have to accept you. They accept you because they care about you--flaws and all--and that is what makes them worth hanging around, but family has to accept you, grime and grit. Nearly no matter what you do, your family will always be around for you. I said this in a somewhat joking manner in regards to being obnoxious and annoying, but I am very serious. Family should always be there for you. That is the kind of family I want to have.

I want to marry into a family that cares about each other deeply...and has a blast. I want to look forward to having family events. Not a normal American family wherin everyone has been divorced twice and has two different sets of kids who all hate each other and are competing for attention. Not a family where uncle Joe and uncle Bob wont talk to each other even though they are the same room because they had a fight two years ago. Not a family where everyone is seeing each other just so they can go back to work after the three day weekend and not see everyone 'til next year. Not a family where the guy who married in feels like he doesn't fit, or the neice feels left out. I want a family that works out their differences and accepts each other. A family that laughs at the past and interacts with each other all the time.

I want to be able to wrestle with my nephews and laugh with my inlaws. I want my kids and their kids to want to see each other all the time because of how close they are. I want to live relatively close to my relatives so I don't have to take an eight-hour trip to see them. I want thirty-person thanksgiving dinners and a cabin that everyone can enjoy together during vacations. I don't want to have to have a family reunion every 10 years because we should be seeing each other all the time.

When it comes down to it--I don't want my family to just be a bunch of people who happen to share some of the same blood as me, so we are required to try to be friendly with each other and see everyone every couple years. I want a family that is a real family, not just in name, but in action.