What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

Pretend that you are sitting in a room with a child. Not a child so young that they can't understand what you are saying, but also not so old that they have lost their naivety. Striking up a conversation, you look at them and ask them a question. You were asked this question many times as a child, by that awkward Uncle, the caring parent, or the teacher from kindergarten.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

When I was asked this question as a young'n, my answers didn't change very much. "Army man!" I would say, barely glancing up from my Lego's. Or "Police Man!" from my bicycle or "Astronaut!" from my book. Enthusiastic, yes, but impractical. There is nothing wrong with any of these things, in fact I have respect for all of these professions, but as we grow older, we learn more and our tastes change.

As I hit Jr. High and continued into High school, my answer changed from those aforementioned to "Engineer" and "Biologist". Some of these subjects still fascinate me, but as I learned more about them I changed still. Not disinterest, just impracticality. When I got to college, I found out that I still really didn't know what I wanted to be. It was disconcerting.

From Chemistry, to my childhood dream of being a "Police Man" in studying Administration of Justice, to Computer Network Engineering, I have finally landed as an English major. Big dream, huh? I don't plan on changing again until I finish school, though this isn't to say that I won't have some epiphany or crisis change my mind. I have, however, realized what that my profession is, doesn't matter. It's the type of Man that I choose to be that matters. So, what do I want to be when I grow up?

I want to be a kid. No, Not in the sense that I want to be immature and irresponsible; a selfish whiny brat. I don't want to worry about the future so much that I take out my stress on the people around me, I want to be carefree. I don't want to be so naive that I can't tell a bad thing when I see it, but I want to be able to try new things without fear. I want to be easy to talk to, and easy to teach just like a child. But most of all, I want the simple things to entertain me, to be happy at what I have. The ice-cream cone from Rite-Aid, the bike ride to the beach, the stars from my roof at night. The simple things that I had when I was a child have been devoured by the chaos of the world. I miss them. I want them back. Someday, I will have reached the enlightenment that we all come into the world posessing, but lose somewhere along the way.