Making Movies Miserable

I love Movies. I think that this is going to be about movies. Actually, I love all types of stories, but this going to be more about movies in particular. Ok, it's even going to be so much about movies in particular, but about watching movies with people. Ok, not even just watching movies with any random person, but watching them with certain types of people. You know, it's not even so much about these certain types of people, but the things that these certain types of people do. That's right, I finally got it. This is going to be about watching movies with people who ruin movies.

There are a few ways that a movie can be ruined. We will go over these ways in chronological order.

The first way is before you have even sat down to watch the movie. You might not even have the movie in your possession, or even have heard of the movie. You could be talking with friends about movies that you have seen, about which movie you want to watch that night, or you could just be at the store about to rent the movie. Nonetheless, it happens.

"OH!" they say. "So you HAVEN'T seen '[insert the title of the movie]'??!?!" Then they go on to ruin every detail of the movie, describing how wonderful it is, or how much it sucks. They compare it to movies that you know and love, movies that you hate, movies that you have never even heard of, and sometimes types of food. Yes, I had that happen once. You try to cover your ears or quickly change the subject without being rude, but the damage is done once they mention how the main character dies, who the bad guy really is, or how the enemy is vanquished by a peice of shrapnel peircing his neck during the explosion that was caused by the main character in Act IV, Scene 3 (1 hour and 38 minutes, 17 seconds into the movie).

Another way that movies can be ruined is during the showing. You know the people who do this. Actually, I am one of them sometimes; so, yes, I do often make myself angry. These people love the movie that is being watched, and want everyone to know that they have seen this movie before and that they love it. They often say "Oh, this part is awesome!" just before something awesome happens. Or they say, "This is my favorite part." or they say "Pay attention to what the main character or characters are saying or doing right now at this very moment because it is super important in regards to the rest of the plot and what is going to happen, or might happen, but I don't want to ruin the movie for you so just keep watching; I know that you are going to love this..." and you actually end up missing what was said in the movie because that sentence was so long.

Another example of in-movie ruiners, aside from myself. One time, I was watching a movie with a bunch of people. This girl leans over to whisper in my ear the entire plot, because she was so excited about it. I don't know why, but she thought that I had seen it, and went on to explain in great detail, the most mysterious part of the movie. I think she just wanted to have good fellowship with me because she thought we had both seen it, and wanted me to affirm that it was a well-written plot, but it ended up making me hate her a little bit.

Another way that a movie can be ruined during the showing is while someone just walks by. These are the worst types of people. They might not even be watching the movie with you, and they aren't even personally invested in hanging out with you at the moment. Perhaps they had just gotten back from a jog and were heading to the shower, or just getting home from work, or even hanging out with people who aren't you. They walk in the door, take a look at the movie you are watching, say, "Oh, is this '[insert the title of the movie]'? Have you gotten to the part where [insert extremely important part that you havn't gotten to yet]. I just LOVE that part." Then they walk away. That's it. Not even a "Let's hang out after you get to the end of the movie." And they don't even usually stick around for you to show them how dissapointed you are in the fact that they just ruined the movie for you. They just leave.

These aren't even all the ways that a movie can be ruined, but I have to go watch a movie right now, so I am going to end this. No, I'm not kidding. And Yes, I am going to watch it with someone who has seen it before, so I hope I don't end up strangling him mid-sentence if he starts to ruin it for me.