Jealousy

People do crazy things when they are jealous. They do things that they would never do when not under the influence of jealousy. Jealousy can be healthy, but unhealthy also depending on the true motive. Jealousy is healthy in the sense that it is a validation for yourself. It shows that you care enough about something that you are angry when it is taken away from you, or you don't think that you get what you are deserving.

Last Christmas, one of my good friends that I have known for nearly ten years gave my little brother an iPod touch as a present. True, it was used, but other than a small section of the screen that doesn't work, it was an excellent gift. I didn't care. Not the slightest tinge of anger or jealousy as I saw how happy my little brother was over this nice present. I have seen many people recieve magnificent gifts over my life, but for some reason, I just don't care. This isn't to say that I don't enjoy nice things, or recieving gifts from people, but there is almost a complacency that I feel when I see expensive things that people have. They just don't mean anything to me.

It is something that I am proud of, the fact that I am not overly materialistic. I do, however, still get jealous. Very jealous. Not over items of worth, but over people, and situations and abilities. These are the things that hold value in my eyes.

I get jealous when I see someone else invited to a place that I wasn't. I get jealous when I see that someone else gets the inside joke that I don't. I get jealous when someone else was let in on a secret that I wasn't. I get jealous when someone knows something that I don't. I get jealous when someone elses joke is lauged at, but mine isn't. I get jealous when someone else gets a compliment when I don't. I get jealous when I see someone do something that I can't.

I get jealous when I am forgotten and someone else isn't.

Jealousy makes you know what you really care about; things, abilities, situations, a person. If you are jealous about it, then it holds some worth in your life. If you don't get jealous, you don't care.