Not Worth It

My friend introduced me to one of his friends the other day, an exchange student from Germany. She is blonde, smart, speaks excellent English, and she was one of, if not the, most attractive women I have ever met.

It's funny, because ever since I became interested in girls, whenever I see an attractive woman, something in my mind goes "I would put up with whatever crap in her life she has just to be with her." If she was dumb, or rude, or obnoxious, or promiscuous, I thought that I could looks past a few major flaws if her other qualities outweighed them. Perhaps it was my mind's way of convincing myself that my body's desires are justified, and not simply superficial.

"Immature", you say? In some aspects, yes, but bear with me for a moment. Part of being with someone is putting up with all of the flaws and problems that they do have (This doesn't mean you should ignore them, or condone them). A willingness to help them to better themselves, even if it takes time. A willingness to forgive the mistakes they make, and to help them not make them again. Of course, this isn't the case in every relationship. This is the story of how my mind was changed in one night...

There were five of us hanging out at a house having a few drinks when everyone simultaneously decided that they wanted to go to a club. Disclaimer: I am not too fond of clubs--it is an obnoxiously loud room wherein you are constantly being rubbed by extremely intoxicated people who slur out apologies whenever they bump into you (that's a lot of apologies [at least they are polite drunks]), and the mixture of cologne, perfume, sweat, alcohol, and peanut smoke from the fog machines is enough to make anyone get a headache. I decided that I would go anyway and be the DD, just cause I am responsible like that, and I know lots of people don't think that far ahead.

We arrive at the club, and apparently one of the girls we were with had a fake ID that the bouncers caught at the door. (Disclaimer: I do not condone fake ID's or underage drinking) The rest of us were already inside when she got caught. Now, even if I did like clubs, and had just gotten inside, and wanted to furiously dance the night away, if one of my friends had been left outside, I would leave also; it's just rude to go somewhere with someone, then simply abandon them. That is exactly what happened. The German girl and her friend went outside to tell their other friend that they were going to stay at the club and that she should just go home.

Strike 1.

So after a bit of standing around and yelling into each other's ears, I find out that nobody in our group actually likes to dance. I do some more yelling into the German girl's ear, telling her all the aforementioned reasons why I don't clubs, and adding in the fact that she doesn't like to dance, I ask her why she even likes clubs. I don't think she had ever actually thought about it before because I could see her mind working out an excuse. She never came up with one.

Well it turns out that a guy that the German girl is into is at the same club that we are, at the same time we are. (Coincidence or not, I will never know)They end up talking for a couple minutes while the rest of us stand awkwardly around waiting for them to finish. She comes back all smiles and happy and feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside and proceeds to tell us how much she likes this guy. Well, speak of the devil, less than five minutes later, we see him and some other girl making out in the corner. The german girl literally broke down in tears.

I felt bad for her. Not because she had just seen the guy she was into, making out with some other girl in a club, but because I could see in her eyes that she knew she was just making a series of mistakes in her life. No, I didn't merely feel bad for her, I felt pity. Pity not so much in the situation, but in the fact that as soon as she stopped crying a few minutes later, the looked up and the first words out of her mouth were "F*ck it, lets get wasted." and she downed the rest of her drink.

Strike 2.

I felt pity because for some people, there is no hope. There is no way to make their life better, so they just try to forget. The worst part is, they don't really forget. They put off their memories for just a few hours. Nothing has changed. They dull their senses and spend their money, and make more bad choices, to try to convince themselves that their problems are gone. I felt pity for her because for some people, there really isn't anything to live for.

I guess the lesson I learned is that until someone is ready to make mature decisions in their life, there are just some things that shouldn't be put up with. Strike 3 happened later, but isn't worth mentioning in the story. Does part of me wish that I am around when her mind suddenly clicks and she is ready and willing to make the right decisions? Sure, I mean, what guy doesn't like attractive women? But, some women, no matter how beatiful, just aren't worth the hassle until they learn a few things first.