How to Pass College

Now, I can't exactly say that I am someone who is worthy of talking about this subject, seeing as I myself have not yet completed college. I have, however, passed enough classes to foresee what the future holds for me in regards to finishing the rest of my days as a student. Lots of people, particularly the responsible adults in your life, will tell you that the way that you pass college is with lots of hard work and studying. Now, if you are working on your second or third bachelor's degree, or perhaps your doctorate, there is definitely some value to this advice. Staying up late studying and writing papers, however, is not something that I particularly enjoy doing. I have come up with some other ways of passing classes, with having to do a lot less work.

The first, and easiest thing that can be done to help you get through your classes without actually doing any work is to simply show up to class. Now, this is one of the most difficult parts for lots of students because there are so many other things that they would rather be doing than sitting in a stuffy class, surrounded by thirty to 100 other students who, almost as assuredly, don't want to be there either. Not to worry, you can bring the things that you like to do with you to class, so long as you can do them while sitting down! I agree, it isn't very easy to go to the beach while you are at class, or play sports while you are in class, but reading is very easy so long as your textbook is large enough to fit your desired reading material into. Not into reading? Then try drawing. Not an artist? Well, bringing your computer to class to "help you take notes" is another way that many new diversions can be found. I myself got very good at chess this way, as well as "Free cell". I found myself often chatting with my friends and even watching youtube videos sometimes. (Note: you need headphones for this one, and it is best to sit in the rear of the class so as to attract as little attention from your peers as possible.) I have played a video game over the network with a friend sitting next to me in class one time, as well as written for this blog, written a letter, and even written large portions of a research essay for another class. The lesson learned? Being present is more important than actually paying attention.

The second way to pass your classes is to make friends with the people around you. This one is more important for the people who choose to not attend class very often, or who take the previous option to an extreme, and completely block out every word that the teacher is saying. It is rather rude to repeatedly go up to the teacher after class and say, "I wasn't actually paying attention for the past hour and a half. Can you sum up the whole lecture in just a few sentences?". Once or twice is ok, but it is better to have friends who will sum it up for you, or even make copies of their notes for you. I don't recommend copying their homework because that is considered cheating. It is even better to make more than one friend in the class, so that way you can rotate through which people you ask to see notes from. This way, your "friends" will feel much less used, and still be willing and cheerful to help you out!

In regards to writing long papers, there isn't really any one good way to get around it, but rather many small ways that, when put together, can make writing papers so much easier. The first way could be seen as slightly deceitful, but many people find it rude that teachers assign ten-page papers, so this has become very popular. If a ten page paper is supposed to be in 12 pt. font, a fun and easy thing to do is to go through and make all of the periods a font size bigger. Most people won't even notice this, and in larger papers, it is not uncommon to gain a quarter, to three quarters of a page for free. An even sneakier thing to do that requires a bit of luck, but can save loads of time, is to simply skip a page number. If a paper is supposed to be ten pages, just go from page seven to page nine on the page numbering. Most teachers eyes are already blurry from grading tons of papers, so this one is pretty easy to let slip.

Another way that writing a paper can be made easier is by simply using large amounts of quotes. Teachers often require concrete evidence by use of quotes in their papers, so use this literary tool against them!

The least deceitful way of making long papers easier is to simply use a thesaurus and lots of adjectives to draw out your sentences. Instead of using a sentence like, "The Aztecs died out when the Spanish invaded their lands." you can say "The amazing culture of the Aztecs was brutally defeated by the ruthless Spanish Conquistadors who pillaged their beautiful country side, burning thatch villages, demanding only the purest gold, and finally bringing the great Aztec empire to it's knees with a series of deadly plagues that the unwary immune systems of the helpless natives had never encountered before." See? Using common knowledge and lots of adjectives, I drew out that sentence to be nearly five times its original length!

The last method of making classes easier that I will discuss, is certainly the most looked down upon by your peers. That's right, sweet talking the teacher. There is always a student in every class who is staying afterwards to beg the teacher to let them turn in work a little bit late, or to change the requirements of their paper. All that this method requires is that the teacher knows who you are. It doesn't even have to be in a good way. If the class clown approaches the teacher, the teacher will think that the class clown is trying to amend for his past actions and take the class seriously, and will do nearly anything to try and help this repentant student out. Go to office hours, stay after class, bring presents--do whatever it takes to get on the teacher's good side, and you won't regret it.

Well, I hope that all of these ideas have been helpful. I know that I have used many of them in the past, and will continue to do so in the future. If you get caught using any of these ideas, just don't cite your source.