Stream of Consciousness

I think that I will do a stream of consciouness blog just because it would be interesting I don't think that there will be very much grammar or anything because I don't feel like it. Ok I just threw in a period because I felt like it and i'm the boss lol one time I told my dad that he was on his period and he got mad at me it was really funny cause he got really quiet and my friend looked at me and said "matt you are so dumb" and then walked out the door without even being told to leave. actually it didn't end as bad as I though it would. I don't think I'll ever tell him that again though. I do wish that I could talk to my parents about life though because they arent very personable people lol that was a funny way to put it but yea, they aren't mean all the time but they are so uptight about everything I hope i'm not like them someday. Well there are some characteristics of theirs that I admire but others I don't really like. That reminds me of when I was at Windy Gap and our leader told us to think about the good things and bad things about our fathers. My father is responsible and keeps his word and those are admirable things that I was to be also but he doesn't make an effort to know me very well it feels like we have a business relationship and not a personal relationship. I wonder if anyone even reads this anymore. Anyway I think I will still write stuff even if nobody reads it because it is a mental release for me especially when I'm bored man I must be bored a lot lately because I've been writing a lot lately. Maybe it's not so much boredom as the fact that I fee like I should be doing something useful with my time and I'm not and everyone always tells me that writing is constructive so I try to do that a lot but it still feels like there are other things that I should be doing. Even things that I want to and cant because I don't have the time or the resources or the experience or the i don't even know the word that I am looking for maybe assertiveness is a good one wow i don't think that I am going to go through and edit any of this and I'm so glad because it would be a pain in the butt lol like the time that I whipped phil really hard with a towel and made him bleed i guess practicing with my whip has gotten me some useful life experience I wonder if I will ever actually have to use my whip for self defense I doubt it. I think if someone had even a bat they would win. Oh well, at least I would make some really cools sounds before I got hit with a bat. bat bat bat see those were spelled the same way and sound the same but I really said bat bat bat. I mean the action and then the animal and then the wooden thing. Man English is really confusing sometimes. I mean, I guess I understand it so its not that bad, but for people who are trying to learn it as a second or third or fourth or fifth or sixth language or maybe seventh or eighths ok im tired of typing numbers, it is really hard. I kind of want to be tri lingual someday maybe even quadralingual if I can find the time and have someone to help motivate me. Yea, I think thats one of my problems I don't feel very motivated to do some stuff because ive become complacent with my life. I need motivation. Oh well at least i'm back in school now. I feel like for me personally one of the first things that I need to do before I can become a responsible adult is to finish shcool. thats not to say that people who don't go to school are unintelligent or can't be responsible adults but I think that is just the place that I am in my life right now. Wow my little brother is so loud and obnoxious he is always playing his trombone or something dumb. So i took a typing test the other day and I got 108 words per minute with 100% accuracy man thats really good I think I don't know if I could do it again I think my steady average is like 85 to 90 words per minute with 95% accuracy which is still really good maybe I will become a secretary oh man, thats a really low aspiration. Ok I think that I'm done with this for now. It was kind of fun to not have any structure actually maybe I'll do it again sometime.