No Secrets. None.

I will just be honest, straightforward and up front about this right now: I think that honesty, straightforwardness and up-front-ness are some of the most important things in any relationship. Now, this may be a hot topic because many people find different things valuable in the relationships that they take part in. I cannot say with good conscience that honesty is the only important thing in a relationship, but I can truly say that I think many more problems can be avoided by the aforementioned things than any other traits in a relationship.

I strive to have people in my life that I'm not afraid to say what is on my mind to. I have had a few relationships like this, and am working on fostering more. The relationships that I have done this in have tended to last longer (Or haven't ended yet), and be more fulfilling than the ones that I didn't practice this in. Now, in all honesty, it definitely takes two people who both want this for this to work. If one person is intent on being open and honest, and the other person isn't too keen on sharing all of their little thoughts and quirks, then perhaps it isn't in their best interest to have this type of relationship. This isn't to say that they can't be friends, but this is a specific type of relationship for a specific type of person. And it takes a lot of perseverance.

I have lately been trying this type of relationship with all of my house-mates. I have found as one example of this that it is better to get something out of the way quicker than to let it stew. Hiding your feelings is one form of dishonesty because you are pretending to feel or not something that you do feel; you are virtually lying to another person's face. People generally choose their behaviors based upon the reactions that they are receiving from the other person. If there is no conflict, then there is no need to change the behavior, right? However, If the reactions that they are receiving are based upon false information, the actions that they will perform will not be suitable for the necessary task. In Example:

In this completely 100% fictitious scenario, let's pretend my house-mate "Bob" likes to have clean towels for his showers. There is nothing wrong with this--it is a very commendable and cleanly practice, but let us also pretend in this completely 100% fictitious scenario that he tends to just leave his used towels hanging on the racks until all the racks in the bathroom are full; then he starts stacking his towels onto mine. I don't like this, but I simply move his towels away and try to ignore the problem. After letting them pile up for quite a while, they fall off of the racks and onto the floor where they are left for weeks at a time. In this completely 100% fictitious scenario, this guy does have a lot of towels, but he soon exhausts his supply and starts using my towels, and leaves them lying around, leaving none for me! To him, this is a normal practice and he sees nothing wrong with it, but over time, my frustration builds up inside of me and eventually I will snap. The way that this completely 100% fictitious scenario could have gone differently is that I could have told him right away that his habit was bothering me. He would have then had the chance to change his ways before I simply exploded at him weeks later for, from his perspective, no reason at all. Ok, in all honesty it was only 8% fictitious.

You would be surprised how a simple acknowledgement of annoyance can change a person's behavior. Being 100% completely honest with someone doesn't mean that you need to be nitpicking everything that they are doing, but it does mean that you need to examine your own reactions to the things that people are doing to you and around you. It is unreasonable to ask someone to stop every annoying little habit that they have, but if it does really frustrate you and can cause problems in the future, you should let them know right away and in full detail so as to let the tension release in small amounts, rather than blow up all at once.

This method of relational interaction isn't simply usable in regards to annoyances around the house either. Honesty is required in such things as simple as telling someone "Your feet smell, move them away from me", or "I don't like that movie, let's watch something else", to intimacy, finances, past experiences, current feelings, and likes and dislikes. Remember, if the other person doesn't think that there is anything wrong, there is no way you can expect them to change. Also Remember: conflict in itself isn't bad. Conflict helps two people figure out what they need to do in the future to avoid a worse conflict. Unresolved conflict, however, leads to an explosive reaction to a seemingly harmless mistake.

There is, however, one instance it is ok to lie.

"Does this make me look fat?"

Just say no.