Competitiveness

One thing that I have noticed after twenty two years of life, is that males are very competitive. Some are more passive in their competitiveness, but for the most part, every guy is willing to step up to protect their dignity--some perhaps too aggressively.

When looking back on some moments in my life--my friends and I have argued over the stupidest things. "I am older than you, I am taller than you, I can play this video game better than you, I ate more than you, I am sicker than you are, I can run faster than you, I can jump higher than you..." The list goes on. After I proved all of them wrong, there was nothing for my friends to do except argue with me more, and make excuses about why they would be better. Obviously, the fact that they hurt their ankle, or they had a headache, or they had just eaten an hour ago made the competition unfair.

Sure, there is a healthy amount of competition that makes life interesting. When I play games or sports with friends who don't actually try, it is boring! When we win at something, our brain releases chemicles that make us feel good about ourselves. When you know in the back of your mind that your win was a fluke, you don't get those good chemical-y feelings. However, there is also such a thing as too competitive. When you are willing to break rules, hurt feelings, and physically hurt your friends just to assert your dominance over them, a step needs to be taken back and a deep breath taken.

I saw some animal in myself tonight, and I was rather shocked. I'm not exactly one of the super-aggressive people who will stop at nothing just to win. Yes, I am very competitive, but I'm pretty good at knowing where to draw the line. Some friends wanted to box, and I, being the intelligent, cool-headed one of the group, declined the invitation of a bloody nose, fat lip, and sore jaw. I did, however, show up just to watch the fights, and get some social interaction and entertainment. Five minutes after showing up, some jeers and name calling from my peers forced me to take action. I found myself in the ring with a pair of gloves on my hands, taking full advantage of my friends' faces.

Sure, some very unlucky things would have had to happen for someone to get extremely hurt, but after landing quite a few good hits on someone's face who was a little bit smaller than me, I didn't feel too good about myself. He challenged me whole-heartedly, and definitely wouldn't have given me any grace, but I still felt bad. Even after beating someone else who had a significant weight advantage on me, I still felt bad because he wasn't someone who I would normally fight with or even want to hit. We just found ourselves together in the ring, at odds with each other, and our animalistic natures took over.

What drives people to be so competitive over the smallest things? In a few words--people want other people to like them. Guys want girls to notice how good they are at physical things because that means they make good gene mixers, and guys want other guys to see how good they are at everything because then they can assert their alpha male dominance. People want to be noticed and for others to see that they are worth something. It is good to have talents and be better at some things than others, but think about it--what good is arguing over something that doesn't matter in the long run? Try competing about things that matter; it makes you feel a lot better about yourself when you win.